• Banjo
    11
    This weekend I went to the movies with two girlfriends. I don't see them that often, but we do get together from time to time. One of the women always compliments me on my hair. This time she complimented me and said that she would like to get her hair cut like mine. She wanted to go to my stylist with me so that she could get the same cut. My intuition felt a bit like perhaps she and the other women have speculated on my wearing a wig. I didn't say much when she said that, but not sure if the discussion continues how to respond. Any advice?
  • Cathe Lartigue
    314
    They're your girlfriends! Why would you not want to be transparent with them? Part of friendship is trust and I would trust my girls enough to be honest with them. I would have just said--I'll lend you my wig to take to the stylist!
  • Happy to ve Retired
    237
    I think it depends on whether you are "out of the closet" with wigs and how close the girlfriends are. We travel a lot - so I have told people that I get my hair cut by a retired lady in southern California - and that she only works out of her house and cuts hair for people she has worked on for years. Yep - it has come up and that explanation tends to shut them up. In fact, I wear Jon Renau out of California so it is not really a lie.

    Only once have I discussed with a non-close friend that I wear a wig - and she also wears one so we just spotted each other. Even then - I would not bring it up.

    People do ask questions when they suspect something in a way to get you to disclose info. If you are not ready to discuss it, then don't. That is my advice.
  • Banjo
    11
    I am not out of the closet about wigs and would not feel comfortable talking about it. I wish I could say I trust girlfriends, but I don't want everyone to know and I don't trust that they wouldn't say anything to others. I like the response of saying a friend does it out of her house and is not taking new clients. I'll try that. Thank you for your responses! I appreciate your taking the time to answer.
  • Happy to ve Retired
    237
    It is not that I think it is somehow embarrassing to wear wigs - it is more that I don't want to be the topic of conversation. And, I don't want people staring at my head as it just makes me uncomfortable. Also, the next part of that conversation is why I wear wigs. In my case - I have extreme thinning - and although some people with hair as thin as mine do not wear wigs - I don't come across people with hair this thin very often. So, I assume some must be wearing wigs. But, I don't want to talk about my thinning hair - don't want to discuss what vitamins I should be taking or what I should be eating - don't want to talk about genetics, etc. If I wore wigs "for fun", I would probably be more open about it and would probably wear all different styles and colors. If I had some health issues, it would depend on whether I wanted to discuss them. But in general - I don't want this to be a focus of my life. So, I stay in the wig closet - at least as far as I know - in other words, people might know or suspect but I have not discussed it with them.
  • Malibu Marge
    1
    I’m having so much fun changing it up every day. At first, when they did a double take, I said, “ Guess what? My fairy godmother left me some hair”. Then, “ Oops, she did it again”. Then, “ I know... magic”. Treating it humorously works for me. I look 15 years younger and feel almost as attractive as I did in my teens and twenties, except without the acne . I got into all of this to help my daughter, who has alopecia. She’s in sales and has to “own” it, radiating her confidence and power. It is so much happier an experience to enjoy it than to treat it as an embarrassment. I’m “Nana, Mom, Wifie and Bosslady to the world. I’m Malibu Marge to ME! Fun, party Marge is still alive and well and the wigs allow me to still play dress-up. Party on!
  • btrflygal7
    18
    The only people that know are closed family and don't feel comfortable discussing it with anyone. I had people compliment either hair color or the cut. My sister is a hairdresser so that kind of ends any further inquiry, lol. But that is tricky if they are asking to go with you to your stylist. It does almost seem like they suspect it's a wig but can't say I understand that. I think people should respect privacy and not pry.
  • Jnc
    14
    My friends knew right away when I started wearing a wig. It has never bothered me telling people. A stranger came up to me once and asked where I got my hair done. I just told her it's a wig. She said - wow! I want one too. :) I love my wigs and am not embarrassed to tell anyone I wear one.
  • Happy to ve Retired
    237
    It is a personal decision and people should respect privacy if someone is not inclined to "share". For me - this is a chronic situation and I frankly do not want to spend my life discussing it. So, if someone compliments my hair, I just say thank you. Done - end of story. I am sure sometimes they are thinking that it is a wig - it probably looks better than most "real hair", but I still don't want to discuss it. Most people associate full time wig wearing with either being sick, or having religious reason. Either one leads to discussion that I would not want to become a big part of my life. I wear a wig so that I can "blend in" and look better. That is it. The whole Story told:)
  • Banjo
    11
    Yes, I'm much like you..My hair has been thinning since I was in high school and it's a painful subject that I really don't want to have to talk about if possible. Glad we can all discuss these issues...it really helps.
  • btrflygal7
    18
    [reply="Happy to ve Retired;2

    Same here, I started losing my hair during adolescence, and was ridiculed. I understand where your coming from. I just want to blend of in and that's why I choose not to discuss it with anyone.
  • Malibu Marge
    1
    Privacy is very understandable, especially if you’ve worn wigs for many years and can “pass”. It wasn’t possible for me with those who know me because I’ve lived in our 55+ community for 3 years and my hair was short, thin, curly and gray. Also,being retired, I have the freedom to treat it as a fashion accessory and not distract from career. Finally, not needing, but just wanting to wear a wig may make me less self- conscious. Anyway, “different strokes for different folks”.
  • Rainbow18
    24
    Some of my friends know...those I feel I can trust, and some don't know. One in particular likes to spread info around (another way of saying she's a gossip). Anyway, when someone asks me where I get my hair styled I always say...just go to Supercuts, they can do anything! And that usually ends the conversation.
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