• Larry
    16
    Hi Everyone.
    I'm a Christian man. Even though I love my bald head, I love to wear wigs. Wearing wigs have been very useful in some of my ministry projects in the past. While I'm pleased that wearing my wigs have helped a lot of people needing encouragement with self esteem issues, I find I could use some support myself.
    It's never been easy being a straight guy who doesn't wear wigs to hide being bald, but simply because it's fun, they allow me to enjoy different looks, getting compliments (especially when I'm feeling sad or depressed), and wearing them makes me feel special since no other guys are doing this. No, it's never been easy when you're different, but the blessings have always out weighed the insults, being abused, disrespected, and made fun of. I don't know if it's because I'm now 55, or have become disabled, but I'm not "feeling the love" as much as I use to, and even my Church family doesn't seem as supportive as they once were. Any kind word,or positive feed back would be appreciated.
    God bless,
    Larry
  • animallover
    282
    I'm sorry you are going through a hard time right now. Life can be so difficult, and it seems like at these trying times in the world with all going on that life can be overwhelming at times. People can be insensitive and cruel and have more outlets to use for their means. BUT there are people out there who still have values and ethics and don't judge others. Being an aging woman in a world that worships youth can be trying and I always wondered how I would handle aging. I have my moments but I have chosen to strive to be myself, the self I have always been. If someone doesn't like how I look, what I wear, what I drive, etc....I don't care. If I get a rude stare or comment, I just smile. I don't feed into it. Hold your head high and be proud of who you are! God is our one and only judge. We all will meet God and I keep that thought in my head. I also am a firm believer that we are here on this Earth as spiritual beings having an earthly experience with lessons to learn that we chose before we came here.....sometimes I laugh at myself and ask myself why I chose so many lessons and so many difficult ones! Keep your faith, head held high!!
  • Larry
    16
    Hi animallover,

    Thank you for your very thoughtful response. I almost didn't post my request for support and encouragement. Not because I don't need them, but because I found it hard to write about it. I am a writer, have had some articles articles published, and am even working on a book. I have no title yet, so I just call it, "the book." Hmm, yes, well I'm usually considerately more creative than that. "The Book" is about baldness, wigs, faith and self esteem.

    I've had to go through a lot of changes in my life -- some good, while others not so good at all. I became disabled in 2013, and I moved back home to help with expenses, and help my Mom take care of my Dad after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He passed away in March 2015. It was rough; he and I were very close. Not wanting to deal with keeping up a house, plus a yard, Mom and I moved into a senior's retirement community in November 2016. She loved it here, but only got to enjoy it for a year. She died without warning in November 2017. The only immediate family I have left is a sister who is two years younger than I am. I continue to live at Crescent Heights and am very content here. My family has grown with the addition of my little girl Boston terrier. I and or my family have always had a Boston terrier. All five had been boys named Sam; from Sam I (the first) to Sam V (the fifth). Mom had always wanted a girl, and to name her Georgia (after Dad's baby sister, whom Mom had been very close to). On the night before we were going to look at some puppies, Anne (my sister) found one of Mom's cook books while cleaning out her bedroom. In the middle of that cook book, Anne found a banker's envelope. On it in Mom's hand writing were the words, "$600 for dog." When we looked at the puppies the next day, one was a girl and she cost $600. We took that as a sign, so I came back home with Georgia I, instead of Sam VI. She is the cutest and most precious thing I've ever seen (I think she is smarter than any of the five boys we had before). All the residents here adore her, so Georgia has a bunch of honorary Aunts and Uncles!

    Several weeks later I got a phone call from a dear college friend of mine. As we chatted, Sheila asked me if I still wore wigs. I laughed and said no. While working on my degree in Human Resources, a requirement for one of the courses was to create a peer support group. I chose to make a support group for people with alopecia areata. I have androgenetic alopecia and shave off any remaining hair that hasn't fallen out naturally. I love my bald head,and I'd never take medications or have treatments that would regrow my lost hair; I do however, love to wear wigs.

    I discovered my love for wigs when I ran the peer support group for people with alopecia areata. Because of my Christian faith, I felt that it was important that losing your hair meant losing your beauty; I also wanted to stress that baldness doesn't have to mean the end of having a joyful, rich, and full-filing life. You can love, and you can be loved. I, some of the people in the group, as well as videos and articles that backed up my assertions. It was also important that people had to find their own and unique path to self acceptance first, and then on to self love. When I first started wearing wigs, I wore different colored ones, and then one's of different lengths and styles.

    I began to get compliments, I formed friendships with women easier, I dated more, and people sought me out when they had a problem and needed someone to talk to. When Sheila asked me why I stopped wearing wigs, I laughed and said that graduating meant having to be an adult. Everyone knows you stop having fun when you became an adult.

    Sheila read me the riot act. After all the excuses, and reasons why I shouldn't wear wigs any more, she started to make me change my mind. I began to think of new ministries that I could wear wigs for. Sheila told me that it was great that I wanted to find ways of serving God, and help people while wearing wigs. She then said:

    "Larry, you don't need a reason to wear wigs. You want to wear wigs for fun, getting compliments, and expressing yourself in different ways. You don't need any more reasons than to do something you enjoy."

    She was right. I'm wearing wigs again. Though not necessary, I've a new ministry. I address groups of people about causes and issues that are important to me. Also, for this time around, I now have a stylist. Her name is Julie, and not only does she discourage me from making shall we say, questionable choices in buying new wigs, but she re-cuts and restyles them so they are unique to my skin tones and facial structure.

    I have to admit that I'm catching more grief about wearing wigs now, than the first time when I was in college. My brothers and sisters in Christ are praying for me, which is always a good thing.

    God bless and Love,

    Larry
  • Sunset
    465
    Hi Larry, it's so sad how people can be so judgemental about someone enjoying wear wigs. Wear them all you want. What counts is who you are on the inside. I can tell you are really a very nice person & that's something that is commendable to me. It's crazy how we live in such a world where people are treated like royalty if they are young & then dismissed when they get older. I was purchasing something the other day & the young guy said he included my discount. I asked if he meant a senior discount & he chuckled saying he didn't want to use the word senior. I told him it's a gift to get older & is much better than the inevitable. We all get wiser as we get older, or at least we should. (LOL) Don't ever let anyone put you down or make you feel bad if you want to wear wigs. I understand how you feel after what just happened to me with the guy asking me if I was wearing a wig. I felt like I had committed a crime with the way he asked. He has called me several times since that time, & I think it's funny how he seems interested in me. I told him we can be friends if he would like but that I don't think we are a match in the romantic department. He seems to be OK with that. If I ever see him again I think I'll just throw on my baseball cap & have my thin little ponytail hanging out the back of it. I feel comfortable lots of times wearing one of my baseball caps, and for sure I'm not wearing a wig then. (LOL) I will continue wearing wigs when I feel like it. I always wear one of my synthetic Jon Renau wigs to my neighborhood bible study. They always say they like my hair. I don't know if they know I'm wearing a wig or not. They've never asked, they just say my hair looks nice. I let my own baby fine hair hang down under it & wear it like a topper. It matches so well with the ends of my hair that it's incredible.
  • Larry
    16
    Hi Sunset,
    I belong to a great church. When I decided to wear wigs again, I asked my Priest (I'm Anglican) if it was ok if I wore them to services and Bible study (I didn't want to be a distraction), he just laughed and said I was more than welcome to wear my wigs. I haven't asked, but his Dad was very bald and wore one of those hair replacement systems -- basically gluing a toupee on his head, and wonder if that is why he is so, er, "wig friendly." (lol)

    Not all of my experiences have been good ones. At Thanksgiving I was told by the Aunt who was hosting the Christmas get together that I couldn't come if I was bald or wearing a wig that wasn't short and brown. I was very upset, and I decided not to go. Several weeks before, I was looking at myself in the mirror as I adjusted what is probably my favorite wig . . . it isn't brown. It's a gorgeous shade of red that goes well with my gray eyes. My lady friends like it so much,they call me 'Ginger.' I didn't ask them to, Several of them, who don't even know each other, started calling me that out of love and affection. They know I like it when they call me that because I blush (like right now as I write this).They giggle when they make me blush (proof I'm a real red head according to them). Well, I didn't go to my Aunt's for Christmas because I couldn't come as 'Ginger.' It turned ok to be a good Christmas anyway because a car full of cousins who knew why I had been "banned" from the family get together, came to my apartment and so I got to spend Christmas Eve with some of my family after all.

    The other night,after I had finished saving my head, and at my wigs that were drying -- hey it was head washing day (rolling eyes), and saw that I have a nice looking bald head,and great looking wigs that had been styled to suit me to a "tee," why is there so much hostility about me being either bald or wigged? I'm not hurting anyone, and God has even used how I like having different "looks" to help people with self esteem issues (and not just those with hair loss), so why do some people want to hurt my feelings, call me vile names, and want to make fun of me in public? I used to want to know why, but now I'm not sure .. . probably because I think the problem is their's, and not mine.

    God bless and love,

    Larry
  • Larry
    16
    Sunset,
    I just wanted to ad that you are a real joy to talk to.
    As I read over your last message again, you reminded me that not everyone hates or mistreats me because I alternate being bald or wigged. I call my wigs "my hair" not because I dislike the word "wig", which I don't, it's just that when I get a new wig, As soon as my stylist takes it out of the box, places it on my head, she cuts and restyles it so it is unique to my face shape and bone structure. Anyone who buys the same wig, it will not look like mine. My Priest and his wife have a large family, some of the kids are biological, others are adopted, but all are their children. I call my wigs my hair because it doesn't matter if I grew it or bought it, it's my hair now .. . and I have the receipt and pink slip to prove it. If you want to call your wigs or toppers your hair, go for it!

    Larry
  • Sunset
    465
    Hi Larry, you're right about it being the people who treat someone badly who have the problem. I was unfortunately diagnosed with breast cancer 19 years ago. I was shocked by how some people treated me. One of my so called friends hung up on me when I told her, and I've never heard from her again. I suddenly wasn't the same person to her. I always listened to her about all her problems, because I'm the type of person who does listen to people & try to help them. She didn't like it now that I suddenly had a problem & the focus wasn't on her. I heard through someone we both knew that she claimed I was making up I had cancer. I wish I had, but why would I or anyone do that?? This crazy woman claimed she had ovarian cancer when she was 23, and I now suspect perhaps she really didn't. I had other people telling me I must have eaten wrong to get it, and a few said it must be bad karma that was punishing me. I rarely tell anyone now I ever had it, because I don't want to take the chance of strange looks or bizarre behavior. I finally realized these people are really the ones with cancer, and the very worst kind. They have cancer of their heart & souls. I have never treated anyone like that with any kind of illness even before my diagnoses. The best anyone can say is I'm sorry to hear it & I hope you'll be OK.

    Soon I have to go in for my annual mammogram & I always get nervous they're going to tell me they see a problem again. Please add me to your prayer list regarding this. I want them to tell me we see nothing & go home. (LOL) I see lots of men bald, so I don't know why your aunt would say you couldn't even come bald, and if you wore a hairpiece or wig it had to be a certain color. I've heard it all now!! I can see why you didn't bother to go. I'm glad you had other friends you saw who enjoy your red wig & call you ginger. It's best we hang out with people who are kind to us & stay away from the people who choose to be cruel. I can't understand how they can live with themselves treating people like that.

    God bless you,
    Sunset
  • Larry
    16
    Hi Sunset,
    My Mom and my sister are breast cancer survivors. My Mom fought breast cancer three times and lived. She died two years ago from a stroke she had in her sleep. She lost a breast from the first two times. You can imagine how shocked we were when she was diagnosed a third time -- I mean, don't you have to have a breast to get breast cancer? It turned out that the surgeon did a lousy job when he removed her second breast. He had left some of the breast tissue attached to a bone. It was that remaining tissue that caused her to have breast cancer a third time. It was a year and a half ago that Anne (my sister) was diagnosed. Given that most of my Mom's women relatives have had cancer, Anne chose to have both of her breasts removed.

    I have a ministry now of educating people about issues and causes that are important to me such as my born again birthday, breast cancer awareness, and alopecia areata to name a few. When I address groups about these things, I wear either a new wig, or one that the group I address hasn't seen me wear before, to aid in drawing attention to these causes. On national Breast Cancer awareness day (after addressing the ladies on the importance of monthly self examination and to keep appointments to get mammograms), I also address the gentlemen . . . "please note I said Breast Cancer Awareness, and not Breast Awareness day! So don't go up to the ladies and stand there staring at their breasts unless you like getting slapped and called a pervert!"

    My Aunt is overly obsessed with what people think about her and her family. She has not been told that one of her grandsons died from accidentally over dosing illegal drugs. They've told her he died from a rare liver disease because according to her, there are no addicts in her family and there never will be. She will not be hosting the Christmas Eve family get together this coming Christmas so I'll wear, or not wear (should I be in a "bald mood") whatever wig I want to.

    As always, it's been nice "talking" to you.
    God bless,
    Larry
bold
italic
underline
strike
code
quote
ulist
image
url
mention
reveal
youtube
tweet
Add a Comment

Welcome to the Wigs.org forum!

Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet! Join our community in one easy step and share your amazing and inspiring story with your wig family!

All views, opinions and comments are those of the author and do not represent wigs.com or it's affiliates.