• Larry
    16
    Hi everyone,
    I've received several messages from several people on this forum who aren't happy with me participating in these discussions. I'm getting conflicting reasons for why I'm not welcome here. Apparently they have a problem with because I'm a Christian or that I'm male, although one person told me it would be ok if I was a gay hair dresser. Since I'm neither of those, I guess I'm still in their dog house.
    I didn't come to cause trouble. I'm just a happy to be bald man who also is fond of wearing wigs. Yes, I know that makes me unusual, but all I wanted to do was make friends with others who share my interest in wearing wigs. I want to share information, swap stories about funny things that have happened while wearing a wig, talk about good things that we've experienced because we wear wigs, and to be kind and supportive when one of us has a bad day like when our wig comes off by accident,or we're harassed and made fun of simply because we like wearing wigs.
    If my being here really is a terrible thing, then I'll leave and with no bad feelings.
    God bless you all,
    Larry
  • Sunset
    465
    Don't leave, I like that you are on here.
  • Larry
    16
    Well, being the gentleman that I am, I can never say no to a delightful, beautiful lady, so I'll stay for no other reason than it would please you.
  • Sunset
    465
    Thank you. I think it's great that you're on here sharing your fun with wigs, or thoughts about other things.
  • Larry
    16
    Thank you for the warm reception. It means a lot to me.

    I'd like to know how you got into wearing wigs, and why you love to wear them.

    The following is an essay I wrote a number of years ago, and I've made it the first essay of a book I'm working on hair loss, wigs and self esteem. I've posted it several times in a number of chat rooms and message boards, so you may have seen and read it before. Please feel free to make comments, good or bad.

    Now I have some other essays if you'd like to read them, and it's ok if you don't want to read any more of them.

    PS. What's your first name?

    God bless and love,

    Larry
  • Larry
    16
    Sorry. I just discovered I forgot to include the essay.

    A Special Wardrobe
    “What’s in here?” Susan asked. We were shifting some of my belongings and among them was a storage box with the word “Herman” scrawled across the top.
    “Take a peek,” Denise advised with a twinkle in her eye.
    “Eek! There’s something furry in there!” Susan screamed as she dropped the box.
    As Denise laughed, I picked up the box and with mock indignation over the word, “furry,” and explained to Susan that she had picked up my wig box.
    “But these wigs are all different colors and styles, Larry, are they all yours?”
    Susan had asked the question most people ask fairly soon after a relationship is formed.
    “I’m totally bald and my lifestyle includes wearing wigs on those days I feel like being a “haired” person. I adore my bald head and spend time making it look good and feel nice. I like hair too, and with wigs I can enjoy a variety of looks in different hair styles and colors.
    It is possible to be both bald and “haired,” and enjoy being both.”
    “I think that’s wonderful!” Susan exclaimed with a look of sincere delight and approval.

    The way we feel about the way we look is important. Physical beauty is one of the cornerstones of self esteem and it is one of the most vulnerable. This is an article about how I have dealt with this subject in one area and I hope that it will inspire the reader to find solutions to their own threats to self esteem.
    I have been fortunate in that my hair loss experience was not burdensome or a source of great anxiety. The reason for this is simple -- I did not see baldness as a disfigurement in others so I did not see it as such for me when I went bald.
    I am a Christian; as such, I strive to see people the way God does. I don’t see “ugly” people. The physical body is much too frail to be a vessel in which a person’s beauty and worth can be housed. Even those who are deemed to be “beautiful people” will be stripped of their attributes through age, disease or accidents. So much of what society labels as beautiful is not even intrinsic; a cursory examination of history and other cultures will show the great diversity and transitory nature of so called Perfect Beauty. The diversity of beauty in human beings is staggering if we are receptive to developing an appreciation of it.
    Most bald headed men and women I knew or had ever seen never struck me as disfigured or ugly. I believed that they possessed beauty in ways that were different from someone else; indeed, those bald people who incorporated their baldness into their self image in an open and positive way seemed even more attractive and even exotic in their beauty.
    It is hard to believe in one’s beauty especially if it flies in the face of conventional standards. It can be done and I have had some success at doing so. It does help if there are people in your life that will support you and believe in your beauty, too.
    The first wig I got was a present from someone who knew I wanted one but couldn’t quite get the nerve to get it myself. I think that I would have eventually but this speeded things up for me. The wig was christened “Herman” by my friend Holley and became the first for many more to come. The support Holley provided cannot be praised enough. She genuinely liked what I was trying to do and did everything possible to help me create my lifestyle and get all I could out of it. She encouraged me not to wear hats or wigs in public after I began to keep my head clean shaven because she knew that I really wanted to. She and many others have made my balding experience one of the great blessings in my life.
    I love being bald and feel special and attractive even more than I did before my hair fell out. Rarely do I use the term “hair loss” because I don’t like the connotation that I have “lost” something. I feel that my beauty was changed and not lost when I went bald. I will probably be self conscious of being bald for the rest of my life, or as long as bald is perceived as unusual. The option is whether or not to feel good or bad, attractive or unattractive because of it.

    After we finished moving my stuff, I treated Susan and Denise to a “fashion Show” complete with bad jokes and funny stories about my experiences. When it was time for Susan to go, she kissed my nude scalp, cooed that she thought I looked cute, and said that she believed that bald is beautiful. I thanked her and told her I thought she was beautiful, too. She grimaced and said that she was hardly beautiful considering that she was this, that and the other thing. I took exception to her self deprecating remarks and tried to put into perspective what I have written in this article.
    “Having hair does not make one beautiful, nor is it true that bald is beautiful in and of its self. Being bald doesn’t make a person beautiful, Susan, but a person can make baldness beautiful. The same, perhaps, can also be said for this, that and the other thing.”
  • Larry
    16
    Hi.
    I just wanted to say I've enjoyed talking to you, and if you were on last night I'm sorry I missed you.
    God bless,
    Larry
  • Sunset
    465
    Hi Larry, I haven't been on in three or four days so I wasn't ignoring you. I get so busy with other things that I don't get on the internet sometimes for a while. I liked you essay very much.

    You asked how I got into wigs. I first started out with a toppers, but the clips end up hurting my head after wearing them if I do it all the time. The other night I put on a topper to go to the neighborhood bible study, & it was fine because I haven't worn it in a while. I like toppers & how they can blend in with my own hair but as i said I can't wear them all time. I bought several wigs in the same color & leave my own hair hanging down under them that blend in so I don't have to deal with clips. I started buying wigs to rotate so I wasn't having to clip them in. I have one wig that has clips just above my ears & those don't hurt me because I have more hair there. I have always had extremely baby fine hair, and it's gotten thinner as I've gotten older. I never had much to spare. I'm not bald at all, but my baby fine hair is such a hassle & looks a mess usually because it's hard to have it stay in place. When I didn't wear toppers or wigs I had to use a lot of hairspray to hold down the wispy little bangs & top. My hair also holds a curl for about a half hour before it's straight again. I color my hair but within a week and a half to two weeks it's already showing the gray roots. Another good reason to throw on a wig or topper. I fear coloring it too much because the top of my hair is the thinnest & this can't be good for it. I have enjoyed trying out different colors & styles because my own hair would never be able to have all that done to it, plus I haven't got enough to do that with it. I have a lot of wigs & toppers, so you could call my a helper hair junkie. (LOL)
  • Larry
    16
    (LOL) Good for you! I have a problem with roots, too. I don't have to touch mine up . . . I shave mine off.

    God bless,

    Larry
  • sillysonjia
    8
    Hi Larry - it's your "big headed wig sister, Sonjia". I like that you are on the forum with all the other wig wearers. I'm a Christian wig wearer too! Let's all stay positive and support one another!
  • Larry
    16
    [[[Sonjia]]]

    I'm always so happy and pleased when I discover a sibling in Christ who shares an interest of mine.

    I read your profile, and while it's great that your husband helps you to hide your "bald spot" as you call it, I'm sad he doesn't share in the joy you've found in wearing wigs. Maybe he'll come around in time when he sees and understands the needs you have are met by wearing wigs. As a guy I don't understand his attitude. I'm thrilled when women I date have started to wear wigs -- usually because they not only have seen me in my different wigs, but because they get why I wear them. Has every woman in my life liked my wigs? Of course not, but more women like me either bald or wigged than women who don't -- a lot more I'm happy to say. Some who didn't at first later became supportive when they've seen how my writings have been used by God to help people with self esteem issues, and not just those who've got issues related to hair loss. On my profile for this forum, I include my most Holy Spirit inspired essays, "A Special Wardrobe." It's not because I think of myself as some great writer that I like it so much, but rather the honor that He used me, and the writing skills He bestowed upon me, to help hurting people. For a Christian, what greater or more rewarding experience is there?

    It's not always easy, even now after wearing wigs for so many years, I get insulted, made fun of, and my feelings can be hurt. I may be on the road to becoming Christ-like, but I'm still human and can feel the pain when I'm being abused.

    I hope you'll feel free to ask me any questions you may have, or if you just want to chat. I'm disabled, so I don't get out as much as I'd like, which is why I like talking to people online.

    God bless and love,

    Larry

    PS I don't think you have a big head at all.
  • Taylor75
    0
    Welcome Larry, so sorry that you had to go through that. Thinking of the history of wigs, men wore them before women did :-). It would be nice to have a males input, because my husband had asked me questions about wigs for men, and I really could not advise him where to locate the best one.
  • Larry
    16
    Thank you Taylor. I appreciate your kind words. My experiences here at this forum have been for the most part have been great. There were several women who took exception to my being here, only because I'm a guy, and they felt I was in their territory. Fortunately, that was some time ago, and I've not had any more trouble because of that. I did get an email once from someone who was not happy that I'm not a homosexual, and I have no idea what set him or her off.

    My reason for being here is pretty simple -- I like to wear wigs. As much as I like my bald head, I don't understand why I can't wear hair when I feel like it. Now one of the good things I discovered when I began wearing wigs, is that I've made a lot more friendships with women. None of my male friends wear wigs and care only about hair if they are losing their's. I'm here because wigs are an important part of my self esteem and identity, and women seem to know or understand that. So, that's pretty much why I'm here. I just want to talk, and share stories and experiences with others who are like me. The overwhelming number of people who wear wigs are women. It's really that simple -- no conspiracies or hidden agendas. I do sometimes get made fun of, or get insulted, so I like coming here and other similar rooms when I need some encouragement or a kind word of support. So, thanks again, Taylor, you've really made my day.

    God bless,

    Larry
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