• Amber
    92
    For the most part, 99% of the time, hair-wearing is a positive experience...at least for me. I would say that most people don't suspect a thing. Unless you are the type of hair wearer that is very open about it, and you sport a different color every day of the week! Then, of course, people are going to know! (Rock it, sister!) But for those of you who what to keep your hair loss on the down-low, you often choose styes and colors that match your bio hair so that it is undetectable, and so that it doesn't raise any questions.
    Until recently, I often stayed in the more chocolate tones, so that I could attend family gatherings or whatnot, and I didn't need to explain myself or get asked questions. I was worried people would notice a different highlight one week from the next, but surprisingly, they didn't! Oftentimes, I'd get a comment that my hair looked nice, but even if I had a blunt bang one week, and a side swept bang the next, no one ever suspected a thing. People are quite oblivious!
    A few days ago, I talked to a fellow hair sister who was devastated, because she was basically "called out" on wearing a wig. She was getting her nails done, and one of the nail techs pointed out that she was wearing a wig.
    I explained to my friend that it's not normal for most people to detect a good wig that quickly, but people in the hair and beauty industry may have more of an eye for those things. Also, she WAS standing right above her head. ;)
    My friend also let me know that this nail tech did say that it was a beautiful wig. So, that's a plus!
    What are your thoughts? Should it be an unwritten rule that you don't point it out when someone is wearing a wig or topper or hairpiece? Have you ever been called out, or asked randomly if you're wearing fake hair? How did you respond?
  • KellyA
    233
    I have a few co-workers that are not afraid to touch your hair while they compliment it. Sometimes when I've tried a wig or topper, those coworkers get right in there to try to see how I've styled it different. UGH.
    I either change the subject quickly or tell the truth. My kids however like to out me all the time.
    Luckily only in the house so far.
    I have told people I'm wearing hair when the compliment me and I think they are also wearing hair.
  • Sarah B
    6
    How does that go? Now that I am wearing hair, I notice how many bazillions of women do, but never say anything. Do they mind when you notice that they are wearing hair?

    I don't think you should point it out to someone. A simple "Wow, your hair looks amazing" is more than enough. Then, if that person needs to believe that it is undetectable, they can go on believing. Everyone is happy.
  • Megan Lasuzzo
    44
    I agree 100% with you! It's rude to assume someone is super open about wearing hair...plus touching someone you don't know well is a creepy thing anyway! :rofl:
  • KellyA
    233
    I never have asked someone but I also seem to always notice others wearing hair too. I just wish people didn't want to touch my hair so much
  • Missmgmnt
    9
    I've never been called out, but that's because I'm up front about wearing them. People usually love seeing me in new ones and let me know which is their favorite. I've only had one person ever actually try to take a wig off my head - which I consider far worse than being called out. That would be humiliating and degrading. It was my sister. :roll: Typical sibling rivalry! But that incident was also the one that taught me the importance of securing a wig to my head. So I guess I owe her a thank you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ LOL
  • gr8hnd
    14
    I’ve had the same experience. I get many compliments on my “cute hairdo” or some variation of that. I always say it’s a wig when I accept the compliment.
  • Janis
    5
    How do you girls secure your wig to your head. I have a 13 year old Autistic Granddaughter that has been told I wear a wig. She’s constantly saying Nanny take her hair off?
  • Dogmom
    205
    I used to be so OCD about making sure no one was staring and thinking they were because I knew I was wearing a wig. Until I thought to myself, "so what" it's a wig no big deal. Then I would play a game in my head saying, "well look at their hair, my hair looks great all the time!"
    Now, I don't care, I just tell them and my good friends are in awe that they are wigs and now they all want to wear wigs themselves!

    Remember this, you are on this earth to please no one but yourself first. Love yourself and rock your style.
  • goldcapp
    56
    I am very comfortable wearing my wigs, and wear different ones to different events, which means that I want to look at different at night when I go out and different when I go to the Gym. I do wear the same wig going to the Gym so that people are not "puzzled". Over the years, that you need to invest in quality wigs that look natural and have movement. I very often get compliments and am even asked who cuts my hair. At that point, I admit that it is a wig!
  • kristyndanger
    15
    I feel like it's the same thing as touching a pregnant woman's stomach... you didn't get the ok to do that :down:
  • KellyA
    233
    I I buy clips and sew them in for a tighter look
  • Bethcole
    9
    I don't think I've ever been called out. I'd do get lots of compliments on my hair. If they ask who does my hair I just tell them it's a wig and I have lots of styles and colors. My pastor and everyone at church alway compliment me and notice my different looks.
  • jaydee
    6
    I had an experience at a local restaurant not too long ago, when a young woman approached me as I was sipping a glass of wine & said, "... I LOVE your hair color! Who does it..?". I was very flattered, and I instantly wondered how I'd respond (I was wearing the hair in my profile pic - it's a Rene of Paris 'Cameron') when my response just came out in a blurt - "I'm pretty sure it's done at a factory in China or where ever... but they do a good job, right...?" and laughed... "...it's a wig, but thank you so much - you're sweet!", and we both had a good laugh & conversation about wigs, where to get them, how much they cost, etc. It was fun, & I made a new friend - so yeah - be upfront about it!
  • SuzieQ
    29
    Jaydee- I loved your story thanks for sharing. I wear Noriko Jackson to work everyday. They last about 3 months. Most people have no idea I wear a wig and I don’t talk about my wigs. I am a recovery room nurse. One day I had a patient say”I’m starting chemo and will never have hair like yours.” I said “yes, you can and i wrote down the info for wigs.com.!”
  • Amber
    92
    Sometimes I tell people, and sometimes I just say thank you! After all, it's our hair, we bought it... right? We don't really need to tell anyone! LOL
  • Amber
    92
    That's true. Someone posted about a stranger touching her bald head the other day. It's like PEOPLE stay in your own bubble unless invited over! GAh!
  • Amber
    92
    I think that's great! I'm to the point now that I am willing to wear all the different looks and not care if they know whether it's a wig or not. I still got lots of compliments when they didn't know though, and usually people thought I got a new haircut or color!
  • Amber
    92
    I LOVE THIS! I think its great when people can be up front! Most people think it's empowering and great when they find out... at least this is what I have discovered! A lot of people who now know in my neighborhood now tell me that they think it's super cool! Who knew! If those of you can get past the hurt that hairloss can cause, owning the fact that your wearing and loving the faux hair is sooooo liberating!
  • Amber
    92
    THIS is amazing! That is so cool!! I have had people comment about how it's not fair that I have hair "like that" - little do they know!! haha!
  • Cathe Lartigue
    292
    Hi Amber!!! This is a long one--OK? I call myself out for wearing wigs because I am a total control freak. I want to be in control of my own wigness before anyone else can. I'm blessed because I work in an environment where a good number of the women wear African American wigs--and I was embraced for my wig wearing since day one. We talk wigs we compliment each other on our "hair". It's great!
    My mission in life as an "older" woman is to normalize wearing wigs.
    Every. Single. Time. I wear Justine in color TT3147 I get stopped and asked who colored my hair and where did I get it styled. Every time! Then I go into my thing about wigs and the conversation is always such a positive one!
    Today it was foggy and damp and back when I wore my bio hair, today would have been a high anxiety bad hair day. Instead, I plopped TOB Isla on my head and went on my merry way.
    I would rather have a wig and have every day be a stellar hair day!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
  • Lynnaka
    36
    When I started wearing wigs again and would get complimented on my hair, I would gladly say it was a wig. Sometimed I was asked where I got it because they loved it, and others would say why do you wear it are you going through chemo? Now I’m hesitant to even say anything but thank you.
  • Amber
    92
    I love long ones! I also love those stellar hair days! I think it's great you and your co-workers can talk about it openly and many of you wear faux hair! How fun! It was raining in San Fransisco when I went a few weeks ago, and my synthetic hair looked great all day... unlike my Mom's and sisters bio hair... LOL! They looked limp, wet, and soggy for the rest of the day! Love synthetic for this reason! Thank you for your comment!
  • Amber
    92
    People are funny that way. I think it's becoming more normal. But I don't think it's anyones business, and it's a total personal thing whether you tell or don't tell. If the subject comes up, and the opportunity happens, I may say something, but oftentimes, I just thank whomever might say something and go on with my business. :)
  • Lynnaka
    36
    Yep, sometimes I say something and sometimes I don’t , I think It looks pretty good so I like to see the surprise on their face, because most of them have the idea of the old fashion wigs that look like a cap on your head
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    @ Suzie Q. That is a lovely story!
  • Shar W
    793
    OMG! Yes. I hadn't told one of my sisters that I was wearing a topper. I had posted a pic of myself and a couple friends on Facebook. Now, this topper looks very realistic and no one in person could tell I was wearing one. But my sister commented on Facebook "Are you wearing a wig?" I was horrified. I quickly deleted the post, it was within a minute of her doing so. I quickly called her and said "OMG! Why would you say that on Facebook?" I did tell her that I was. She said she loved it and I looked great. She wanted to know where I got it because she wants one...LOL I am not ready for all my friends to know I am wearing toppers and wigs yet. I still have a hard time dealing with my hairloss. I explained this to her and she did feel bad and didn't mean to call me out. I have told some friends and some people at work. Everyone has been very supportive so far.
  • ElysiaLaVey
    6
    Totally did the same thing once. I have an amazing wig that I bought on Etsy that is mostly black with purple and blue accents. I get complimented on the color often, but a waitress was pressing me on who did my color. I eventually just told her "a wig maker across the country". She commented that she had no idea it was a wig and how much she loved it.
  • Erzsike
    153
    I was called out by a customer at a ladies apparel store I used to work at many years ago when I first started wearing wigs. The customer said your hair is so beautiful, it must be a wig. I was shocked! I just moved the conversation along to what the customer was buying. I have had co-workers touch my hair. I hate it. I think it is very rude. Sometimes I just want to say "are those real breasts?" ugh
  • katiekates
    23
    Some people are just downright rude. No one should just feel free to grab your hair to check it out! And I'm not afraid to tell them so. I have no shame with having to wear a wig; so if people ask me or compliment me on my hair - depending on the situation I just say "thank you" or I'll tell them they can have the same hair. It all depends on how I feel.

    I also wear long curly/wavy hair and I plan on transitioning to grey (as I'm 52) and I wish there was a better selection on longer/wavy grey wigs! I don't get why the Wig industry doesn't see how they sell like hotcakes and are on back order all the time. Especially ESTETICA'S ORCHID wig. So frustrating! Sorry that was a random rant! LOL
  • BeatA
    668
    that’s great! I have done this as well. I’m an anesthesiologist, I have not “ come out of the wig closet” at work yet, but I have told several patients the same thing.
  • BeautyWithin
    307
    I love your berry color in your pic. Hoping to be brave enough to do it one day!
  • BeautyWithin
    307
    Once, in a grocery store an employee who barely knew me made a beeline towards me and loudly asked "Is that a wig?" I just stared at her until she turned red and then I took a deep, deep breath and said "Why would you even ask someone that question?" She truly was just being nosy and bumbling on proceeded to tell me about her sister who wore a wig but died from cancer. I'm like, duh, stop talking! She backtracked when I just continued to stare her down. Eventually she went away but came back later to apologize quietly. I told her I forgave her but urged her never to ask anyone that question ever again. Funny thing is i have no problem sharing my wig secret on my own terms with kind people, but not with gossiping bullies. I always get compliments and most of the time i hear "i wish my hair looked as good as yours." I laugh sweetly and whisper to them "Its a wig." They are always so surprised. I love helping people who have hair worries or need a boost to start wearing a wig to feel better about their hair loss.
  • Msskye
    0
    I am quite open about wearing a wig. I have suffered hair loss for many years. My last haircut was about 25 years ago. I am 76 years old and just about all my friends know I wear a wig. when out about town No one needs to know and I don't tell them.
  • KellyA
    233
    well you do kinda look fantastic.
  • Baylady
    12
    I get people who stare. ...only one has been rude. I still try to keep it private but my husband says to heck with people and do want I want.
  • Melinda Agu
    2
    I get it a lot.I have several longish wigs and the curls are perfect so people either ask...How do you do that to your hair, or.....Is all that hair really yours? I always explain I suffer from hair loss and just tell the truth. Some people get kinder and have questions to ask. Some people look embarrassed themselves,and some people just get quiet. I wwould neverask someone that even if I wasn't a wig wearer. Mean question.
  • Gretabern
    3
    I am comfortable wearing a wig cos I have to-I’m now totally bald. But a few weeks ago I saw a woman I know whose going thru chemo and she was wearing a wig. And it was so not real. It looked so “ wiggy” and “ false” that I started doubting my look.
  • Katooshie
    784
    As far as I am concerned it is outright RUDE to call attention to someone's faux hair. The ONLY socially correct thing to do is say "Your hair looks nice" or say NOTHING. My older son announced to everybody at our table at a wedding "My mom is wearing fake hair." My brother in law asked "Why?" I said "Because I like it." When people compliment me on my hair who don't know it's faux I just say "Thank you" No need to explain in my opinion.
  • Katooshie
    784
    Touching ANYONE without their consent is like assault. It's just so tacky and gross! I would feel like slapping their hand away if they went to touch my hair. I had to repeatedly tell my sister "STOP TOUCHING MY HEAD!" She was petting me "affectionately" and I really disliked it. Finally I had to take her aside and say "When you touch my head it HURTS me because you are rubbing the clips on my hair extensions!"
  • Katooshie
    784
    UGH! That is like assault to remove someone's wig or hairpiece. Why do sisters seem to think it's OK to invade like that? My sister kept rubbing my head "affectionately" and I kept telling her to STOP, to which she would laugh and say "Don't be silly." Finally I took her aside and said "When you rub my head like that it HURTS because you are rubbing my hair extension clips!" No more head rubbing.
  • Katooshie
    784
    RIGHT?! Like why do they think it's ok to touch? Do we go up and grab their boobs??
  • Katooshie
    784
    That is delightful you did that :) Bless you!
  • Katooshie
    784
    GREAT THREAD! Thanks for starting this!
  • Katooshie
    784
    I love this! Thank you!
  • Katooshie
    784
    That's a great story! Made me smile! :)
  • Katooshie
    784
    I also find that hair extensions are so "in" now that people are "impressed" when I tell them "It's extensions!" I think even when I try a wig this fall I will call it "extensions" (just more of them!) hahahaha
  • Katooshie
    784
    Great story! Most people aren't aware that MANY African American women wear faux hair and think NOTHING of it. How blessed are you to work with these amazing gals and get to exchange faux hair chat!! And yes, nothing beats faux hair in bad weather. I still look like a star while most others look like wet cats! LOL
  • Katooshie
    784
    To people who know you, they may notice the change, but I just want to assure you that, in your photo icon anyway, your hair looks really natural. If I didn't know I would NEVER guess it wasn't your own crop of hair! :)
  • Katooshie
    784
    Love heat friendly synthetic hair for the very same reason here in rainy Vancouver! :)
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