• Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    This is weird and begs the question, Would you date a man with a toupée (or wig)?
    A couple of months ago, someone from my old neighbourhood, whom I will call Maggie, contacted me and we started chatting online. Today, she asked me how my single life was going (it's not) and told me she was on Match. I told her that I found this whole online dating thing completely foreign and horrible and she told me she had met three men and the last one was gorgeous. Sadly, however, he wore a toupée. That was the end of their relationship. We didn't get into details of how she found out lol.
    I launched into how sad that was because he was obviously a kind and attractive gentleman, and she interrupted with "You don't understand. I wear a wig." (This is something I would never have guessed as I only recently got into wigs and developed wigdar.) She then said that she thought it was perfectly fine for a woman with alopecia to wear a wig but that it was "weak" for a man. Apparently this guy should have shaved his head and got on with it. What say you? I am trying to imagine my late husband wearing a toupée. He had lots of hair and I think I would have preferred it if he had done so, rather than shave his head.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Really? I've not tried that one. I actually was on Match for a week. I was "forced to" by a well meaning friend. It was just awful. All these ancient men... I like to think I am a young 66. I am in the same shape as I was when I was 20 and no wrinkles because I wear sunscreen. But the only men who were interested in a women over 60 were in their 70s and 80s and/or used a walker. You have to enter your age and the age you would like to date. On another over 55 site that I wrote an article on, I only signed up for investigative purposes and didn't pay anything. When I put my real age in, stock pics of men in their 70s and above came up. However, when I lied and wrote "55" the men appeared to be in their 50s.
    I hear many stories about online dating but I guess I am old fashioned in that I want something to develop organically. I met both my husbands at work. I just cannot imagine going out on a date with someone I didn't already know very well.
    And yes! What a double standard.
  • Deleted User
    0
    This user has been deleted and all their posts removed.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    I know Alex. It is pretty interesting. She admitted this was a huge double standard but then went on to say it was "weak." Bizarre.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    The problem is, that there are absolutely no unattached men here, or if they are, they are in their mid 70s - 80s and wanting someone to look after them. That is absolutely not my scene at all. My husband was fun, youthful and adventurous, and 10 months older. Sometimes, most of the time actually, I don't think I will ever find a partner again. The odds against doing so are massive. I have visualized finding Mr. Wonderful but, unless he comes falling out of the sky, I have no idea how or where. This is small town BC and a huge mistake in many ways to have moved here but I can't live in an apartment with my dogs and don't have $2 million to spend on a house in Vancouver.
  • dc21
    333
    Hairloss affects men's self esteem too. I wouldn't reject someone if they chose to wear a toupee.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Me neither. People are quite extraordinary. I didn't tell her I wore faux hair. She just volunteered this info.
  • KellyA
    234
    you should have asked for his number
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Hahahaha! Yes, I should ;)
  • Katooshie
    788
    True story: my brother is bald. He was riding a train in Thailand and these Thai girls were giggling a few seats away. They didnt know he spoke Thai and one said "that guy is good looking!" (Pointing at brother.) Another replied "yeahhhh but he's got no hair!" So when brother got home he got a toupee! My mother referred to it as "that rat Marty wears on his head" (in her defence it did look like a small animal curled up on his head.) Years later bro is married to a Thai girl. She asks him "are we getting old?" He replies "well....theres my hair sitting on the table over there....so...." :)
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    That is cute. Does he live in Thailand now?
  • BeautyWithin
    316
    I agree with you 100% Alex! I had a great talk with one of the nurses when Matt was in the hospital last time. He couldn't believe I was wearing a wig (after being our nurse for 3 days in a row). He had gone ahead and shaved his head but talked about what it was like to lose all of his hair in his twenties. We talked about the double standard. I asked questions so that I can better understand it from a male perspective. I think it was a really interesting discussion for both of us. It was nice to talk about hair loss with anyone who's experienced it because it's very emotional no matter the reason or the gender or the age.
  • Katooshie
    788
    no he gave up finding a subservient thai girl :) he lives in Vancouver
  • Shar W
    796
    I met my husband online. But I have to say I had a difficult time with it too. I was in my mid 40's and all the older men, like 60 and over were contacting me. The men my age wanted to date the younger women or they were just out for hooking up. I was conversing with one guy on the website and asked him if he wanted to go out on a date. It was really hard for me, but I thought why not. He said you are pretty, but I just got divorced and I want the 20 year old blonde barbie. SO I was pretty discouraged for quite sometime. It took me a year online with plenty of one time dates with a bunch of duds before I met my husband.
  • Shar W
    796
    Boy, the stories I could tell you. I am sure you have the same.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Ugh! I paid for a year but am already wanting to get away fast. The guys all look like classless creeps. In my profile, I wrote that I love Italy and learning Italian. This fellow wrote, "WOW!!! You are BEAUTIFUL. Hubba bubba bella bella." He looked like he was in his 70s and had a baseball cap on backwards in his pic. The pic looked like it was taken in a garbage dump. I felt like crying. Both my husbands were lovely, classy, kind and intelligent men. Also, 90% of the matches are in the US. I am not prepared to work at it as I want to do other things online and in life. Shar, that guy sounds like an absolutel a$$. I am glad you were able to stick with it. I. JUST. CAN'T.
  • Shar W
    796
    I too stopped for awhile and then went back and tried other sites. I don't blame you. Most of the guys on there are creeps. The classy guys are out there. Maybe just not on Match.com . You are a beautiful lady and I am sure you will find another love. :heart:
  • Katooshie
    788
    did you meet your Josh on a dating site?
  • Dogmom
    207
    I met my husband twenty years ago in a chat room for Harley Davidson riders. It was a while before he told me he goes to Hair Club to get his hair done. I applaud men who take the time to take care of their appearance. When I met him, his hair was, down to his butt in a ponytail... very sexy biker.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    I love long hair on a guy. Ponytails, man-buns, I'm in, :)
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Did you find eHarmony better than the rest? (Aside from meeting Josh there) :wink:
  • Erzsike
    159
    Personally, I would NOT discount a man for wearing "hair." I do it and I do not see it as a sign of weakness in a man. To me it would potentially bring us closer as a couple as he would be more understanding to my hair loss.
  • Dolly
    55
    If you find a guy who has all the qualities you are looking for - in my case, patience, kindness, loyalty, etc - and he had no problems with the fact that I wear wigs myself, I would have no problem with him wearing underpants on his head!
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    I am 100% with you on that! How is it "weak" for a man to want to look good?
  • Erzsike
    159
    IMO, it is not! I am not seeing anyone right now. Sick of explaining the wig thing. I have had men hate my wig and just wanted me to present myself bald. Few men have embraced my wig saying they thought me brave. Just do not have the emotional strength to deal with being accepted by a man. I have a hard enough time being accepted in just daily living.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    I hear you. Today, I was telling a friend that the only man I was faintly (and I mean faintly) interested in on this awful online dating clearly wasn't interested in me and she asked me if I had considered posting a pic of myself where I looked "less attractive." I wasn't sure what she meant, and then she said (as a joke) "Take your wig off and post a pic of your bald head." Then she burst out laughing. This lady is always a sweet soul so I felt a bit shocked. I actually have hair, albeit very fine, so I had to explain this as she had forgotten. (She has a touch of memory loss as she is an older lady.) But I felt very hurt. Everyone here seems to have wonderful and accepting partners, as mine would have been. Sending a big hug to you as I know what "everyday life" is about.
  • Katooshie
    788
    What a great love story!!! Thanks for sharing! :)
  • buckeyegal1963
    623
    So was the sole reason she dumped him was his faux hair? Wow, that's really shallow if so, especially since she also wears faux hair herself.

    Oh the joys of online dating, haha! I could tell you ladies lotsa stories...men who lied about marital status, age, height you name it! I was on Match and Plenty of Fish for a time, quite a few dates, very few went past a first date. I used to be a cohost for Plenty of Fish parties, and they were fun, I made quite a few women friends from them, lol, but no good men. So I've taken a break from the online dating, I'm pretty content being single, so I haven't had to worry about telling a date that I'm a faux hair wearer.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Thanks for that info! So far nothing of interest. I did "favourite" one fella but didn't get a return favour. Yes, she apparently couldn't handle the fact he had a toupée. I think there must be more to this story. I know she is very upset about her own hair loss. Sometimes I think I would be more content being single than having to "date" which I have never done in my life. It sounds so awkward.
  • buckeyegal1963
    623
    POF used to be totally free, I think now you have to pay for some features, so I thought since Match was a pay service the guys would be more serious about looking for a potential relationship, but for the most part they were they same guys as on POF. You used to also be able to video chat for free on POF, I was excited that I would get to see their faces live instead of just a pic...nope! I learned very quickly that most of the guys wanting to video chat would have the webcam aimed at their crotch. Now I'm not a prude, but I sure don't want to see some faceless guy getting off, lol. One guy who did that I was thinking "what the heck am I looking at?" It took me a minute, but here's this fellow with multiple rolls and I do mean multiple rolls of hairy belly hanging over his hand while he was wanking, I cut that feed off right quick, lol.

    Like I said I used to cohost POF parties and was pretty visible in the local POF forum as well....it was weird I'd get recognized while out shopping or running errands all the time, guys say "Hey, you're buckeyegal (I almost always use this user name on all sites), it was kinda creepy. Met lots of nice ladies though, I definitely had better luck with them than the men, ha ha.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    OMG OMG, I don't know whether to laugh or cry. How awful. I would have passed out cold. I do know three men (all were contractors doing my renos) who met their wives on various sites. The conversation always got around to, "Why are you alone?" so I told them and then they told me their stories. Interestingly, all said they went through a lot of women who just wanted one night stands.
  • Shar W
    796
    OMG!!!! That's funny! I was on POF as well and had no luck. I met a guy for a date. I didn't even recognize him from his pictures. He must have swapped out pics with his brother or something. But I wasn't too happy about him because that was a out right lie to start off with. So I had one drink and when the waitress came back and asked if I wanted another I said no. I think our date lasted 15 minutes. LOL !!!! I didn't feel bad one bit.
  • buckeyegal1963
    623
    I lost count how many would send me crotch shot pics as well, you haven't got that? Maybe it's just the Ohio men that do that lol. Like I said I made friends with several woman on POF from the parties, and of course we would compare notes. There was one guy at one of the parties who had sent his d*ck shot to almost all of us, so when he approached us, one of the gals said he definitely needed some manscaping done on his private parts, talk about someone squirmming, he skedaddled right on out of the party lol.

    Yep, lots of fake pictures or pictures that are 20 years old, so that they look nothing like their photos. I've had guys lie about being married (they're the worst), had one guy who said he was my age, 5 '10. he looked like he could be my father and was about 5'4 not much taller than me. I was trying to be nice so when he asked if I wanted to have dinner after we had a drink, I said that I needed to go to the store and buy dog food. Yeah, that was a lame excuse, but it was the first thing that I thought of, but as I gained experience at the online dating thing, I learned to just say "No, thank you for your time, but I don't think we are right for each other". Yes, it's blunt, but it usually stopped them from contacting me again.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Lol to the manscaping comment. Total yuck. I haven't corresponded with anyone so no pics. I got one on Facebook Messenger once. I didn't even know the guy. It took me a minute or so to figure out what it was.
  • buckeyegal1963
    623
    Be careful about linking your facebook profile to dating sites and allowing strangers access to details of your life and personal information. Unfortunately there are some pretty unsavory types out there and you don't need a stalker.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    This had nothing to do with dating sites. I would never let anyone know my name even. I used my middle name. The Messenger pic just appeared and I had never heard of the fellow. He was Polish.
  • buckeyegal1963
    623
    oh ok, so a facebook fella gotcha? lol I play backgammon on facebook and it has a chat program, which I have disabled now. Had a guy I was playing a game with and he asked me if I'm horny. Sure, that's the first thing I do when I'm horny, go play a game of backgammon, ha ha! These guys, I tell ya! lol
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Bahahahahaha! Too funny.
  • TopOfTheWorldWithToppers
    2
    Moonlitnight, I am in the same situation as you are. I am 66 and on Match and yes, all the older men flock. I look much younger for my age, (as you do) and that makes it even more difficult.
    I did date a man, once, who wore a toupee and it was a strange experience. He was a wealthy man who was very well known in the city. I sat across the table from him at dinner and looked at his hairline and thought "wow, we both wear fake hair!!" I could detect it right away because I am so into toppers myself. It didn't deter me from dating him again, there were other reasons why there was no second date but it was a good experience for me and I didn't fault him for it. So Yes, I would date a man who wants to look the best he can just like I do. Hang in there with the dating, I am going to!!
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    I am trying to hang in there. I am a bit pee'd off at paying for a year and only getting men in Utah and Washington when I am on a Canadian Island! Only three have made contact and two of these were suggestive comments. You look lovely and so not 66! As for the toupées, who cares? Lol! I am still blown away by my old neighbour's reaction. xo
  • Tiramisu
    7
    Hi, I have thought about this believe it or not. It’s hard to say for sure because it has not happened to me, but I would HOPE that I would be accepting of a man with a toupee. It sure would be easier telling him about my wig wearing! Of course none of us want to be judged just because we wear wigs for whatever reason, so why should we judge him? Also, he wears a toupee because he doesn’t feel confident without hair most likely, but after we were dating a while maybe he would feel confident enough with me to go bald, especially if I like him better that way? How do the rest of you feel?
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    That is a very good point. I'd never "go fluff" because my guy wanted me too, but it is much more socially acceptable for a man to be bald or thin-haired than a woman.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    I just cancelled my eHarmony account, after paying well over $400 CAD for an annual subscription. Pure torture. All I got was ancient men with beer bellies. It became depressing to look at the "matches" and think that this is what my life has come to after having the most wonderful guy in the world. Ugh! I should have learned my lesson after my experience with Match.
  • Tiramisu
    7
    I’m with you! It is depressing to see who is out there. I haven’t signed up for any online sites for that reason. I’m trying to decide what I can volunteer to do that would not only help the community but help me meet more people. I think the best bet is for someone you know set up a “blind date”. At least that way you have a better chance of meeting a quality person as well as feel safe in dating one. Good luck to all us singles!
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Hi T. No blind dates where I live. The women are very protective of anything with testosterone and there is a weird competitiveness, probably because women here outnumber men by some crazy ratio. I have forgotten what but I think it is 3 to 1. I am really not interested any more. I will remain lonely in that aspect, rather than force myself to look at men with a view to a relationship. The thing is, I have never dated, and never wanted to. I met both husbands at work and knew we would be married during our working relationship.The guys felt the same. So the concept of going out with someone to see if you like them seems completely bizarre to me. I have been looking at volunteering opportunities around here that aren't the "Women's Auxiliary Thrift Shop" or something like that. I work pretty well full time so anything regular wouldn't work. Good luck in the "search" :)
  • BeatA
    675
    For me it’s pretty simple: double standards are wrong. Period.
  • buckeyegal1963
    623
    I've only went on one blind date set up by a well meaning friend, and I don't think I would do so again. She was upset with me when I didn't want to go on a second date with the man, and it put a little bit of strain on our friendship for a time. I felt zero connection or attraction with the guy and he kept bugging her why I didn't want to go out with him again, so it was just kind of awkward. I'm like you Moonlitnight, I hate dating whether it's a blind date or meeting someone online. It's just more natural and organic meeting someone through work, church, get togethers with friends, frequenting a certain spot etc., and developing a friendship and attraction before dating actually comes into play, if that makes sense. With blind dates, or online dates it seems forced, like you kind of have to make a decision in just a short time if you want to pursue a romantic relationship with someone.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.7k
    Exactly! I just can't do it. I'd rather be an old maid. Haha. An old maid with fabulous hair :)
bold
italic
underline
strike
code
quote
ulist
image
url
mention
reveal
youtube
tweet
Add a Comment

Welcome to the Wigs.org forum!

Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet! Join our community in one easy step and share your amazing and inspiring story with your wig family!

All views, opinions and comments are those of the author and do not represent wigs.com or it's affiliates.