• animallover
    89
    I am having wig issues/dilemmas! I sure hope someone can help me. I will probably write more than one post with each issue so not to overwhelm anyone like I am already so overwhelmed!
    OK - here goes one.......... Why am I having such a hard time accepting this wig wearing? I knew it was coming, I was so happy when I received them in the mail, and when I put them on. Smiling! Now I am having so many ups and downs. I love it, I hate it, I love it, etc.............. I hate that I am losing my hair, I love that there is a solution, I hate the word wig, I love the way I look in them. I am not so confident going out in public as I thought I would be. It takes guts. And nerves of steel. And that all takes energy that I don't have right now. I feel like everyone is looking at me, laughing, snickering. Why should I care? I really don't....sometimes. Anyone else feel like this?
  • Sunset
    320
    Yes, pretty much all of us have. I've pretty much gotten used to wearing wigs now around people & have received many compliments I never received with my bio hair. I figure it like this, my wigs are always going to look better than my own hair. Unless it's a really bad looking wig, & I have had a few of those where my own bio hair looked better than the wig. I'd rather not have to wear a wig, but I know I really need to, so I've pretty much accepted it now.
  • amyonwigs
    111
    I did a video on this. I hope it helps! Hugs from Texas!
    https://youtu.be/9VOPX5Bl5_I
  • alicexm
    33
    Firstly, welcome to the forum. This is a safe and caring group. Secondly, you are feeling exactly what many of us have and do feel at one time or another. You don’t mention how long you’ve been “wiggy”, but it does get easier (at least for me) the longer you wear hair. Stay with us.
  • animallover
    89
    Thanks all....Been wiggy about a week. I have to be around some casual friends soon and I want to wear a wig because my bio hair is just terrible, BUT, I'm sure they will notice because all of a sudden I am going to have way more hair, and healthier looking hair than I ever had.
  • animallover
    89
    We have taken care of my mom and dad for the last 8 years and they both just passed less than 4 months apart. I am having a hard time emotionally as I was extremely close to both. In the last few weeks my hair has been coming out by the handfuls and along with my autoimmune thyroid disease, my hair is doomed. I am so close to having hubby buzz it off as I can't stand to look at the wispy longs hairs.. So neighbors and friends who have seen my hair disappear will see me with beautiful full healthy hair. I hope I have the strength to endure. My energy level is zapped.
  • Twinkle
    82
    Welcome to the forum! I think we all felt the way that you are feeling when we first started wearing beautiful hair. For me I struggled for years and years before finally taking my dermatologist’s advice and getting a wig. That decision changed my life for the better. It was profound. I’ve been wearing hair everyday for 6 years and I love it. When I first started, I felt badly and I’ll never forget my best friend who reminded me that we all wear makeup, heels, bras, etc to enhance the way we look. Why is hair any different? I take my hair off at the end of my day just like my friend takes off her padded bra! I can’t grow my own hair in thick enough because of a million reasons. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or that I did anything wrong. I’d love for you to to learn to have fun with all of this; trust and give it time; stay connected to this site and the beautiful Goddesses who can guide you through this time in your life. We’ve all been through it. We are here for you!!
  • dc21
    217
    My sympathies for your losses. My mom passed in March and it has been difficult. I cannot imagine losing both so close. I have a love/hate relationship with wigs as well, but it is the only workable solution. The other is to just let everyone see me with very little hair, and I find that even more embarrassing than wearing a nice wig. I now buzz and love it. Yes, those around you day to day will notice you suddenly have a nice head of hair and new style. Hopefully, they will understand your health issues plus grieving your parents and be supportive. I am sure the emotional stress of losing your parents has contributed to your hairloss as well. It is better to just be honest with your family and friends. Most likely, strangers and casual acquaintances will never suspect you are wearing hair. Wearing hair can be a rollercoaster, but once you commit it will be easier.
  • animallover
    89
    Thank you for wonderful suggestions - you are so right!
    I am sorry for your loss too. I find myself wanting to call them and then remembering...........
    How do you keep a wig on a buzzed head, I mean not ride up in the back? Thanks for your kind and helpful words.
    Thank you!
    Thanks, I will definitely check it out!
    Thank you, you are all so strong!
  • dc21
    217
    I wear lace fronts and use It Stays or Got2B glue (which is a spiking gel you can get at Walmart or most drugstores). It Stays is a roll on that you apply in a thin layer on your front hairline under the lace. Got2B you use a pea size amount in the same area. You line your wig up on your hairline and gently press. My hair has stayed on even on roller coasters. Some people prefer a wigrip - I haven't tried on yet. I don't have a flat occipital bone and don't have a problem with wigs riding up in the back usually.
  • Crystal
    196
    my buzzed hair kinda acts like velcro. My wigs are more comfortable now and I don't have to worry about any bio hair creeping out.
  • alicexm
    33
    One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that a lot of people are more concerned with themselves to really notice others. As dc21 noted, strangers and casual acquaintances really will not notice, or will notice how nice your hair looks. The barista I see almost daily commented the other day she liked my new cut. She knew me pre-wig, so would be one to notice, but that’s as close as she’s come. Co-workers are mostly men, so are nearly clueless. My grandchildren like my hairstyles, one young grandson commenting how pretty I was. As for everyone else, I figure it’s “none ya”.
  • HeatherE
    105
    I get that self-consciousness, especially around those who see us often but that we aren't close enough to discuss this deeply personal issue (like a neighbor, co-worker, sister-in-law vrs. our spouse, best friends, or adult kids who know our struggle with hair loss and we are less self conscious around). Maybe it would help to ease into it and wear it only around the house and people you are comfortable with, then maybe out to like a restaurant, movie, or grocery shopping, then lastly, around those people you may be most uncomfortable around. I know it's hard to imagine it right now, but you will get used to it and it will come more easily to you with time. I shed a whole lot of tears and frustration at the beginning. And praise the powers that be that we live in a time that there are soooooo many options that look amazing, and have all this information and support right at our fingertips!
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    First, I am going to reply to your pm very soon. I have a migraine again and need to get my meds. Spotted this though and, even though all our sisters here have shared their feelings and assured you that you are perfectly normal to have these emotions, here is my two cents' worth. I've been wearing wigs for four months now. I feel self-conscious every living moment that I am outside. It's watering season so I have to go out at 7 am and move the sprinkler around. I'm convinced that half the neighbourhood is hanging off their balconies staring, so I don't look up. There is more than a kernel of truth to this. My house is on the water side, so those on the other side of the street sit on their front decks having breakfast and admiring the view—which unfortunately includes my head.

    Going to the grocery store or (worse) pharmacy in the village is awful. Whenever possible, I drive into the next town. I have several stories about people asking me what I've done with my hair (since I actually appear to have some). It is not an easy process and it has only become a little easier as time passes. I guess it is true to say that I have become used to being uncomfortable! Two evenings ago I went to the local "dine on the dock" event which consists of maybe 80 people. I saw three wigs and felt a little better.

    From an emotional aspect, it still affects me when I get up and see not only my frail fluff but the additional damage wearing toppers and wigs has caused. My hair has rubbed or broken off all along my forehead where the wigband touches, and on the parts of my head where the topper clips went. I am now wearing my wigs glued well below my hairline. I want my bio hair back big time.

    My derm feels that most of this loss is due to the twin losses of two of my closest loves two years ago. Some sort of delayed reaction, but my whole female family has androgenetic alopecia so I am not so sure. Hugs xo
  • Sunset
    320
    I'm sorry you have another headache. Was it that obvious three other ladies were wearing wigs? I hope it's not obvious when I'm wearing one, but I might be living in a delusion about this. I just can't take wearing my own bio hair out anymore. If anyone of your neighbors is staring at you, it's most likely because they find you so attractive, and they think you also have great looking hair.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    Just shot myself up with meds. I have great wigdar. The first wig was on the lady serving drinks. It has that dark root down 1.5" of the shaft and the rest was light blonde. I know of no women in the 65+ group who a) has black hair and no grey and b) who wouldn't get her hair touched up if she had black roots. I looked closely as she bent towards me and saw the mono mesh. Only a wig wearer would do this so no worries. Another lady was wearing upstage in Biscuit and a third was not at the dinner but in the loo and was on her boat for the evening. She had a lovely red bob that went straight to her head with no shading. It was the most obvious of the three. She was washing her hands, dried them, smiled at me and gave her wig a tug at the ear tabs.
  • Cathe Lartigue
    238
    Hi and welcome! First of all, don't overthink the wig wearing. I know it's difficult --and it's especially daunting when you see yourself in hair that isn't yours.
    But you need to take a moment to step back and study the wig and how it looks on you from all angles. Play with it. Wear it around the house. And when you are confident enough to take that first step outside--be like a nike ad and just do it!
    We've all been there. OMG. The first time I wore a wig outside I was so self-conscience. Now, my wigs are like my eyeglasses. I need them and I love them.
    It took me a while, but I know what hair looks good on me. I've expiremented with colors. I do research on each wig and look for reviews to see how the wigs look on real women.
    You can do this.............
  • Sunset
    320
    I read where some women put some surgical tape in the mesh area of a mono top to hide it. Have you ever heard of doing this? I don't like how my mesh shows here, especially on some wigs, because to me that's a real give away of a wig.
  • VocalEyes
    142
    I've been wearing wigs for several years now and still feel like an imposter at times. I may seem confident when someone asks about them but inside I feel a knot in my stomach. I wear different styles all the time so I should be used to people talking about my hair and telling me which one is their favorite. I had a minister's wife tell me to "own" my style whether it's a wig or the funky colors of my cropped, pearly there, bio hair. She went through breast cancer so she understands my feelings. I'm trying to get the courage to post some pics of my pink, blue, purple, etc. hair on the forum. That may be my next topic.
  • DeniseJH
    62
    Hi! I'm so sorry for your losses. My mom passed away a year and a half ago and I never knew what a profound experience that would be. It changes you. My dad passed when I was 21. I have to tell you, I wore a wig in public for the first time just last week! My natural hair is super thin and getting thinner by the day....it looks like crap! I was quite self-conscious with the first person I dealt with, but she didn't seem to notice, or care. I thought my wig looked so much better than my own hair that I decided I didn't care what others thought anyway! Now I can try different styles, different colors, and I never have to worry about blow dryers, straight irons or curling irons again. No more mousse, or hair spray. No more sitting in the hairdressers' chair looking like something from the black lagoon. Just throw on my hair and go! There's no shame in this...we get to have beautiful hair everyday now. Don't be so down on yourself, just remember there are millions of us out there.
  • Crystal
    196
    today makes two weeks of wig wearing for me. I wore mine out to wal mart and the next day I wore it to work. Walking into the workplace felt like one of those dreams where you realize you're naked. Before I got to the time lock, two people had already complimented my hair. My own Mother didn't even realize I was wearing a wig. I wore it around my in laws on the 4th. Again, nothing but compliments. If they suspected anything, they kept it to themselves. I feel better after buzzing my hair. Seeing how thin and wispy it was made me sad.
  • Sunset
    320
    No need to feel sad now, Crystal. You can have great hair every single day now. I'm happy you received compliments, and glad I'm receiving them also. I try to get lower density wigs so it's not so obvious. I think some people think I finally did something with my hair, because they don't understand nothing could be done with it. A guy years ago offered to pay for me to go to a beauty parlor to get my hair fixed. I think he thought they'd be able to do something with it. It was sweet of him to offer to pay for it, but I knew he just didn't get it. I declined his offer. I should have gone out and bought a wig then, but they really didn't have the nice ones that are out today. I also know I just couldn't have emotionally dealt with it then; it's difficult even now, but since I'm older I know many older women wear them & always have.
  • Crystal
    196
    I bought my first wig around 10 years ago. It was horrible and it's still in my closet. I thought then that I would just have terrible hair forever. I'm so glad I took a chance on EW wigs. They are lower density so it wasn't as shocking seeing myself with hair. I'm 42 and I think I was unhappy for way too long.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    Yes, I have but I thought this was just if they had dark bio-roots. The tape goes under the monopart. I think Go Kaleo a.k.s. Blondielocks had a video on that.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    You're the best. Go for it. I love your posts, and you. I get that knot as well. I also have an irrational fear that someone is going to deliberately pull my wig off.
  • animallover
    89
    I got the veggies ready for the Bar-be-que, grabbed a beer for each of us, got computer, started reading and got all choked up, teared up.....hubby says, "No one said anything bad, right?" I said, no, they are all so full of comforting words, advice, understanding and love. What treasures.

    i have yet to go to Walmart to get some Got2bglued. Thanks for the explanation.
    I want your attitude!
    Great advice. Thanks
    I had to LOL when you said, ". I'm convinced that half the neighbourhood is hanging off their balconies staring, so I don't look up. " I would have the same feelings. Thank goodness I live on a mountain, in the woods, surrounded only by forests and wildlife! I don't have to wear it at home unless the driveway alarm goes off to tell us someone is coming! I want my bio hair back too. My derm called it Chronic TE, probably won't recover. PCP says thyroid related, Endo just doesn't care.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you, for such encouraging words.
    I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, yes, indeed, a profound experience, especially both of them gone. I miss them each and every minute.I hear you about the hairdressers, I haven't been in 2 years, hence the long thin angel hair spaghetti like wisps.
    You, are very brave, and I wish for that. Thanks
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    No more sitting in the hairdressers' chair looking like something from the black lagoon.DeniseJH

    :rofl: Oh dear.
  • animallover
    89
    You made me laugh too! If I buzz, I hope and pray that I will have the confidence to walk around the house and maybe, just maybe, in...............public.........gasp! I do dye my hair as it turned from going gray to pure white when I was about 44, due to the sudden tragic loss of my only child, son, in an automobile accident. Maybe I'll try pink!
  • animallover
    89
    That loss is what started my hair loss journey......
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    :heart:

    I just read this by Wendy Williams:

    There’s never been a better time for the hair conversation to take place, because so many women these days are wearing extensions and weaves, not to mention perming or flat-ironing to change the hair they're born with into a style that’s anything but natural to them. But a certain stigma still exists when talking about women who completely cover their heads in full wigs. People often think you wear a wig because you have no hair underneath. Or that you’re trying to be somebody that you authentically aren’t. Or that wigs are only for old ladies like your ancient aunt Gertrude. To all these reasons, first of all, I say "So what?" But also: It's just not true. Women wear wigs because they're fun, they let you avoid frying your own hair, and they look great. I’m doing my best to change people's minds, but it’s still a daily struggle to educate them about the benefits of this little-recognized fashion item.
  • Katooshie
    748
    I have always had ugly hair so wigs are such a blessing to me. For the first time in my life i can look normal and even pretty. Still...the transition to wigs was a long one. I went thru years of clip in extensions...a few months with a topper...and finally wigs. Once i figured out the right wigs for me and how to glue it to my head with got2b gel...well I finally feel great about my hair and confident about my appearance.
  • Sunset
    320
    I'm so sorry about the loss of your son in an automobile accident.
  • Sunset
    320
    blondielocks removed all of her videos. It's sad, I really enjoyed watching them.
  • Sunset
    320
    I've never bought an EW wig, aren't they for people with smaller heads. I have an average size head. It looks like she doesn't have that many colors available.
  • animallover
    89
    Thank you......it changed the course of my life and I miss him EVERY single day.
  • Crystal
    196
    My daughter asked me today if I wore my wig to church. I told her that I did, but I took it off after we got home. She told me that I should've gone without it because she thinks I look cute with my buzzed hair. I really wouldn't mind doing that, but I'm afraid people would think I have some sort of illness.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    What? Why? How bizarre. She was so into her YouTube channel.
  • Crystal
    196
    I think my head is probably average sized. They fit snug but not tight enough to be uncomfortable. I've only sent one back for being too tight and that was Point.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    I had the wrong girl. I thought Go Kaleo used to be Blondielocks but all her vids are still there.
  • Sunset
    320
    I have a friend that lost her son when he was 18. I know it's something a parent can never get over. (((hugs))) :hearts:
  • Sunset
    320
    I know. I heard something about how she went back to school or something & then decided to delete all her videos. I don't know why that would be a reason to delete them; they were really good & very informative.
  • Sunset
    320
    I don't think I've seen hers.
  • Sunset
    320
    Faux hair used to have some good videos also, but her son committed suicide in January & she doesn't want to do them now. I can understand, bless her heart, that's got to be terrible to lose a child, but even worse to lose them by suicide.
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    Yes, she was good. I know poor FHF lost her son and went into a state of depression. Just awful for her.
  • animallover
    89
    I have to admit, I am afraid of my wig. Afraid to touch her, to comb her, she's like a fragile egg to me...........I might be a lost cause all around.
  • Sunset
    320
    I feel so bad for her. How could anyone not go into a state of depression from something like that?
  • animallover
    89
    Depression is too mild a word for losing a child.
  • RhondaG
    48
    I have been “wiggy” for 15 days now. Well, I wear a topper right now. My first time in public was my 30 year High School reunion 2 weeks ago. No one seemed to give me a second look. My next big outing was the local Bingo game in my town where I would encounter more people who see me regularly. Again no second looks. I went to Bingo with my mom and when she met me at my house before the game she loved it. My next big outing was volunteering in the merchandise tent with the local baseball team. It is run by a lady who I have known for years. I caught her staring at my head but she did not say anything. Later that night she went to my husband and asked did your wife do something to her hair, it looks like she colored it or something. He simply said yes, she did something to her hair and did not elaborate. I have worked with her three times since and she has not said anything. Yesterday was the biggest outing of all—my in laws 50th anniversary party with tons of people who see me regularly. One of my nieces had figured it out, but that was the only one who said anything. Several random friends have complimented my hair and I have told a few of them. Sometimes it just feels good to let “the secret” out. I hate that I am losing my hair, but I am thankful there are now affordable and more natural looking options than in my grandmother’s day. I am embracing the idea of being able to switch up style or color with ease. I am trying to choose pieces that are similar enough to be not super noticeable when I change, yet different enough to be fun for me. Women proudly wear spray tans, and have artificial nails and obviously augmented boobs so why can’t we proudly wear our hair? No reason! The best advice I saw was to wear your hair proudly and confidently and don’t fidget with it. If someone asks tell them what you feel comfortable telling them.

    I can’t tell you how life changing wearing hair has been for me these past couple of weeks and I hope you can get there too! Hugs
  • Moonlitnight
    1.3k
    I agree ladies. Just overwhelming. I can only imagine.
bold
italic
underline
strike
code
quote
ulist
image
url
mention
reveal
youtube
tweet
Add a Comment

Welcome to the Wigs.org forum!

Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet! Join our community in one easy step and share your amazing and inspiring story with your wig family!