Have you tried Jon Renau's HD Smooth?!
You probably just need practice relaxing in front of the camera. In one of my classes the teacher was showing a very handsome young man on video. He looked scary on the video because he wasn't relaxed, so the teacher was showing us how the camera will pick up on that. Later in the class this guy started to really look as good as he did in person because he'd practiced by then & was able to relax. If I had to get up and do a monologue in front of a class today I would be nervous. After I did them a bunch of times years ago I got used to it & was able to perform better & be relaxed. I had fun doing scenes with people, and playing around doing commercials. It was great how the teacher would film us & then we would watch them so we could learn better how we did on camera.
I know what you mean about how some people think I look really young, and then someone else will say the in our age group remark, or not blink an eye when I say I'm 65. Several weeks ago I was told by two different women I looked really young. I guess different people view us in different ways. The event I was at yesterday I felt kind of depressed because everyone looked OLD. I thought to myself I might also look like I fit right in. My one guy friend is always saying he looks so young for 66, and I would say he does, but I took a good look at him yesterday & thought to myself he's starting to show his age. I never say to anyone I look young, because I don't know how they're going to perceive me. Another guy last week said everyone thinks he looks way younger than 70. I'm sorry, I didn't tell him but I thought he looked his age so I'll let him live in his delusion.